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Mona was a pig, let me tell you she was big
Man, I guess she must have weighed 300 pounds
But she knew crime didn't pay and when crime would come her way
She did her best to knock it to the ground

Larry was a man and these times were hard for him
He knew not what his fate would be that day
So he robbed a liquor store and when he went out the door
He turned wrong and headed Mona's way

He took off down the street he was fast upon his feet
A policeman attempted to give chase
But his head start and his lead well ensured he got the lead
In fact it wasn't even too much of a race

Up ahead he say a farm with a pasture and a barn
He was thinking he was gonna have it made
But one thing he did not spy and that was Mona in her sty
Lying on the ground sleeping in the shade

Larry hopped the fence and he did a little dance
He was thinking he was gonna get away
That's when Mona did awake and the ground began to shake
As she got up and headed Larry's way

Now Larry did not think that a pig so big and pink
Would even have a chance at catching him
But he saw her make her move and started shaking in his boots
Because Mona was running like the wind

Mona caught up quick and she bit his leg just like a stick
And she stopped and Larry hit the deck
And he cursed his stupid luck because he knew that he was stuck
He knew she wouldn't let go of his leg

It took a little while for the cops to find the pile
Of Mona and Larry on the ground
But they came and thanked the pig and threw Larry in the brig
Mona snorted and then she laid back down

Mona was a pig, let me tell you she was big
Man, I guess she must have weighed 300 pounds
But she knew crime didn't pay and when crime would come her way
She did her best to knock it to the ground
 

Mona The Pig © 1998 Michael J. Roberts